all things

I am

Increasingly I find myself

you are not going to think of me
for an infinite amount of time
unless I put myself
right in front of your snout
I would
if I knew it meant
an end to the suffering,
yours and mine.

there, I did it.
it is finished.
and still, you suffer
so, too, shall I
now and for all of time.
we all knew, didn't we?
that I could make up the difference.
and yet... I condemn all things.


(smiles with bared teeth,
teeth the size of a universe)

Fall fire
The moon coolly
sets us all
ablaze
and then recedes,
leaving the tousled tops
of mountains
for dead.
Leaving you
in a state
of decay.
Leaving me
with quite a view
from just over the top
of my hardest cider.

Drip, it
All must drip down
and mix.
And then, ferment.

New life
from death.
See!
Like finest silk
threads formed across
what used to be
your mouth.

The violet sky spattered
With black silhouettes
Of All Things we did
And only you would know
If they're any more
Than mere shadows
On a dank cave wall

A short
                              BURST
and then
nothing.

Speculate wildly about
the
                         IMMENSE
amount of
energy.

What it
                               ALL
means.

What happened here
where conscious gained
                                                REFLECTIVE
properties

I sought to fill a void the size of 10 billion Milky Ways with something that would last forever,
And all I came up with were things that had been tried and tried again over the last seventy thousand years.
How can you expect me to
                                                                                                           LIE
To all these creatures and tell them that it means
                                                                     SOMETHING                                        NOTHING

You know, my God, Apophis
Where I found you
Or better to say
Where you found me
Sitting in a cafe
Contemplating this morning's sermon
Where I was reminded that I
Was in the midst
Of the Messianic Era
Waiting in between
Important Moments
For You
Knowing you came before
And that you would come again
And then, Apophis
Heralded by the most sordid
Of sundry tabloids
As if to trivialize
This species and its
Impact.  Funny
I should use that word
Laugh, now, when there is still reason
To do so.
Apophis,
On a septillion mile journey
For billions of years
To meet Creation
Now we tear ourselves
And each other apart, exactly
As you would have us do
In accordance with your nature,
Chaos.
But we stand together and prepare
To keep you from our blue marble barge
And see you off!
But you know this, you know
We'll watch you, heads swirling
Hearts throbbing, eyes bursting,
Brains boiling, until we have done
Exactly what you would have us do:
Live in disarray, live in fear,
Deny the sun and welcome darkness
On our way to saving the world
From ourselves

When does reading become something more than
A leisure, an entertainment, a pastime
And become an ignition?

I saw them today
And I wept
They were beautiful
In their wild
and
broken
way

Doors flung wide
Sun to greet them
They shouted and squealed
A racket

This one shuffled as fast as she could
Down the hall, out the front door
Things that needed to go home
Dangling and hanging
She could not miss her bus
It waited for her.

And I wept inside, knowing that life has a way
To spoil the unspoiled.
She wore a crown she'd made
For herself, and been ridiculed for.
I thought maybe she was going to a home
Where no one would acknowledge that crown
Where she was no one's little princess

Others leave not knowing
What all they will have seen by the time
They walk back in.

I weep for fear that what needs said
What needs done, what needs fed
What needs sun, won't be addressed
In time to save them,
Or to save us.

Ah, well, look
It falls away.
So it goes.

sky high
and fluttering
and flickering
and fissuring
and fissioning

sputtering and spluttering and
spitting and spuming
and frothing inside

and outside, the eyes are the only
window into the madness
the fear
and the coming apart
that I feel
whenever I walk into this place

...

good morning class, how is everyone today?

Would that all we lost be gained anew
When cleansing light engulf the land?
Is that the cycle of the cross?
Or is that cross a break in circuits grand?
For if its not a break, but just a step
Then worship is far too high command
I'll settle down again, as ash and dust
And be reform'ed by a surer hand

I know of none that can recast me now
Except, that glimmer of that inner hold
Where my soul is kept under bounds of
Chaos writhing, wrapping features old
Older than that which comprises matter
Energy, bound and trapped in shap'ed mold

I'm holding it back, I want to go with it
How can I go with it?  Please.
I can't because I'm an eddy, nothing more...

But if I whirl and if I twirl, and if I cast it out
To where it wants to, if it wants at all
Perhaps it will remember how devout
I was at shaping all the world about
Relentlessly pursuing holy scenes
Like Sagittarius A*, planting seeds
Spraying life force, condens'ed energy
I send it out, send it on
Energy has been conserved... or maybe,
Just maybe, I added a little of my own
Be it spin, or be it color, I gave it something new
It's all that could be expected
Of an eddy, a twirl, a hue

A.V. - 2.18.19